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September 28, 2001
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Helping children
cope
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horrific events of September 11 have affected each of us in a deeply personal
way. Many of the repercussions will continue to emerge, including the
emotions we feel and the ways they affect us. This is especially true
for young people, who process information differently and react in varying
ways over time. Here are some ways that experts have recommended parents can help their children through these times of potential fear and anguish: • Limit the amount of time children spend listening to or watching reports about the tragedy. They can become confused or frightened by the mere overload. • Reassure children that schools are safe places to be. The tragic events of the past few weeks were not targeted specifically at schools or children. • Watch for signs that your child is very shaken, or even traumatized. Changes in behavior, sleep patterns, or school performance could be a signal. • Encourage children to talk about what they have heard or seen. This way you can clarify any misperceptions and help place the information in perspective. Make sure during these conversations that you keep your own strong emotions in check and speak calmly and reassuringly, answering all the questions that you can. Ignoring the subject will not make a child’s reactions go away. Encourage expression of emotions through drawing, playing with toys, or acting out emotions in some other way. • Share your own emotions, and any mixed feelings, in an honest and straightforward way. Sometimes there are no simple or clear solutions to problems. It’s OK for your child to see you express these concerns. You can help your child understand my naming the emotions: “I was upset. I was frightened. I was angry.” • Always remain in control of your emotions. Anxiety is contagious. Make sure your children see that their world is still normal. Their routines should stay as regular as possible. • More than ever, it’s important that children get the necessary amount of sleep, exercise, and nutrition. • Work together on some projects that can help make a difference: Create get-well cards for survivors. Go to worship together. • Remind children that the source of the hatred that caused these problems was the tendency to lump all of one kind of people together. It was wrong for the terrorists to do this and it would be wrong for your children to do this. They should avoid stereotyping or being mean to any one type of person. • Spend time together, reading, playing games, doing chores. Tuck your children in at night. Work hard to make them feel secure and loved. |
© Santa Barbara County Education Office