|
|
|
From the Desk of Bill Cirone...
January 8, 1999
Some of the best "things" are free
With the holiday season now over, it's useful to remember that it is generally the most loving and, at the same time, usually the most materialistic that our children experience each year. Sometimes it's not only refreshing, but also rewarding, to reinforce for children that the most important things in life do not always involve the exchange of cash.
Even during the year, it's easy for a parent to reach for some money or a piece of candy to reward a child for good grades or extra effort. But in the scheme of things there are much better ways to show your gratitude and pride, according to Good Housekeeping and the National PTA, which insist that "hugs, kisses, and compliments are worth more than anything money can buy."
The fact is that some of the best incentives don't cost any money at all, but continue to reap rewards year after year. You'd be surprised how much more staying power hugs have, or pats on the back, smiles, or extra attention. Reading together could be another reward. It's a gift that brings you close to your children and also kindles interest in reading.
You'd also be surprised how much lasting power compliments have when they are given face to face, or said to others loud enough so that the child can hear them.
Sara Wilford, director of Sarah Lawrence College's Early Childhood Development Center recommends giving rewards that show how learning itself can be rewarding, such as going to a museum together. She calls that a form of "intellectual dessert."
It's also sometimes very effective to hold family testimonial dinners for children. According to Rebecca Simmons, a research associate at Harvard Graduate School of Education, a monthly pizza celebration to mark each child's success is usually considered a real treasure indeed.
And the successes can cover any special contribution--fixing the VCR, drawing a comic book, or helping someone on the street. Rewarding such behavior goes a long way toward bolstering a young person's self-esteem and reinforcing those values that your family feels are important.
Children could also be rewarded for meeting a goal they set for themselves. The possibilities are limitless. The key is that it is not necessary to provide a reward that is tied to money, candy, or materialism. It's never too early to underscore for children that many of the best things in life are not "things" at all, but attitudes and actions that show kindness, concern, and appreciation.
© Santa Barbara County Education Office
<.shtml>