|
These are trying and stressful times at the international level and
as is always the case during war, news coverage and daily conversations
can include more allusions to violence than is usually the case.
Because holiday season generally means time to buy toys for our children,
it’s worth noting that this year’s menu of toys, videos,
and games contains many that are as violent as ever.
What difference does it make if children play with violent toys?
Children learn through play and they absorb values by osmosis. When
we give a child a violent toy, we’re saying it’s OK to
play in that way, and that those activities are acceptable. There is
a subtle message being sent — and one that in this day and age
is reinforced at every turn — that violence is “out there.” And
it’s OK — maybe even good — to fantasize about it.
It’s not OK to fantasize about violence, certainly not at the
personal level. And we should make that message clear to our children
as early as we can.
The problem is that we live in a media-saturated world and our current
entertainment and news programs are filled with messages of violence.
This is a big departure from when most of us were children. Many of
us played with violent toys, but it was easier to separate that play
from reality because the movies and shows we watched, the books and
newspapers we read, were gentler than the current fare. Our playing
was clearly separate from other kinds of messages we received from
other sources.
That’s not true today. We have been numbed to tragedy and suffering.
I read of a journalist who went home to visit his mother, some 50 years
ago, and found her sobbing in the kitchen. She said she had just read
in the newspaper that a terrible landslide in South America killed
thousands of people. She was crying for the women and children.
We don’t cry today for far-away women and children from other
lands who are victims of bombs, landslides, earthquakes, wars, or even
beatings, because we have become numbed to it. So have our children.
Even in the wake of recent events.
Giving a child a violent toy reinforces the notion that violence is
everywhere and it’s OK to fantasize taking part in it.
What’s more, the current advertising and promotion of toys has
taken a twist unprecedented in our history. We now have toys that are
developed first, and then cartoon programs that are created strictly
to market those toys, under the guise of programming. The programs
serve as models of how to play with those toys, and are usually distressingly
violent.
We all know the pressures our own children exert on us when there’s
a toy they really want. Especially around holiday time, we want to
give our children gifts that will make them happy.
But when movies, television programs, videos, and even the morning
newspaper and the evening news are filled with messages of violence,
it becomes more difficult to separate the cartoon messages from those
of the real world. Our children are becoming numb to human suffering
simply because news of it surrounds them at every turn.
As parents, we send messages to our children through everything we
do, and —whether we mean to or not—through the toys we
give. If we really hope to achieve a kinder, gentler world, we must
act on those values and reinforce them whenever we can. Actions always
speak louder than words, and giving violent toys can counteract what
we say to our children about kindness and compassion.
What’s a parent to do under pressure? The hardest thing of all — just
say no.
|
