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From the Desk of Bill Cirone...
December 4, 1998
Violent toys? Just say 'no'
A major toy manufacturer use to use the slogan: "Children's Play: It's Serious Business." That is absolutely true.
And because holiday season usually means time to buy toys for our children, it's worth noting that this year's menu of toys, videos, and games contains many that are as violent as ever.
What difference does it make if children play with violent toys?
Children learn through play and they absorb values by osmosis. When we give a child a violent toy, we're saying it's OK to play in that way, and that those activities are acceptable. There is a subtle message being sent &emdash; and one that in this day and age is reinforced at every turn &emdash; that violence is "out there." And it's OK to fantasize about it.
It's not OK. And we should make that message clear to our children as early as we can.
The problem is that we live in a media-saturated world and the media themselves are filled with messages of violence. This is a big departure from when most of us were children. Many of us played with violent toys, but it was easier to separate that play from reality because the movies and shows we watched, the books and newspapers we read, were gentler than the current fare. Our playing was clearly separate from other kinds of messages we received.
That's not true today. We have been numbed to tragedy and suffering. I read once of a journalist who went home to visit his mother, some 40 years ago, and found her
sobbing in the kitchen. She said she had just read in the newspaper that a terrible landslide in South America killed thousands of people. She was crying for the women and children.
We don't cry today for those women and children who are victims of bombs, landslides, earthquakes, wars, or even beatings, because we have become numbed to it. So have our children. Giving a child a violent toy reinforces the notion that violence is everywhere and it's OK to fantasize taking part in it.
What's more, the current advertising and promotion of toys has taken a twist unprecedented in our history. We now have toys that are developed first, and then cartoon programs that are created strictly to market those toys, under the guise of programming. The programs serve as models of how to play with those toys, and are usually distressingly violent.
We all know the pressures our own children exert on us when there's a toy they really want. Especially around holiday time, we want to give our children gifts that will make them happy.
But when movies, television programs, videos, and even the morning newspaper and the evening news are filled with messages of violence, it becomes more difficult to separate the cartoon messages from those of the real world. Our children are becoming numb to human suffering simply because news of it surrounds them at every turn.
As parents, we send messages to our children through everything we do, and &emdash;whether we mean to or not&emdash;through the toys we give. If we really hope to achieve a "kinder, gentler world," we must act on those values and reinforce them whenever we can. Actions always speak louder than words, and giving violent toys can counteract what we say to our children about kindness and compassion.
What's a parent to do under pressure? The hardest thing of all&emdash;just say no.
© Santa Barbara County Education Office
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