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From the Desk of Bill Cirone...
February 19, 1999
Talking to kids about drugs
It's easy for children to get confused about drugs. If drugs are so dangerous, why is the family medicine cabinet stocked so well? If alcohol is so bad, why do Mon and Dad drink wine on occasion?
While public service announcements and school educational programs warn about the danger of drug abuse, movies, TV, music, and advertising often glamorize it.
It's important that parents help their children sort out the facts from the fiction. And it's never too early to start, because the average age that a child first tries alcohol is 12; for marijuana it's 13.
To start talking with children about drugs and alcohol, start by listening carefully. Student surveys have demonstrated that when parents listen attentively to the concerns and feelings of their children, the young people feel comfortable talking to them.
Also, let children know it's okay to act independently. This is particularly important because peer pressure plays such a big role when it comes to experimentation with drugs. If everyone in the family except the 8-year-old wants to go on the rollercoaster, don't force the issue and don't make the entire family skip the ride. Instead, let her know it's okay to act independently from the group.
Role play about how to say no. Play out ways that your child can refuse to go along with friends without becoming a social outcast. Say: "Let's play a game. Suppose you and your friends are at Andy's house after school and they find some beer in the refrigerator and ask you to join them in drinking it. The rule in our family is that children are not allowed to drink any alcohol. What could you say?"
If your child comes up with a good response, congratulate him. If nothing springs to mind, offer options like: "No thanks. Let's play Nintendo instead," or "No thanks. I don't' drink beer. I need to keep in shape for basketball practice."
Allow your child plenty of chances to become a confident decision maker. An 8-year-old can choose an outfit to wear to school. A 9-year-old can decide if she wants to invite lots of friends to a birthday part or just one or two close friends. A 12-year-old can decide whether to go out for track or join the school band.
Finally, be sure to set a clear family position on drugs. It's OK to simply say, "We don't allow any drug use or alcohol use by children in this family. The only time you can take any drugs is when the doctor or Mom and Dad give you medicine because you are sick.
"We made that rule because we love you very much and know that drugs can hurt your body and make you very sick. Some can even kill you. Does anyone have any questions?"
© Santa Barbara County Education Office
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