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From the Desk of Bill Cirone...
March 31, 2000
Social Conscience Begins at Home
A child’s sense of morality and social conscience begins at home. To help make our schools and our communities safer environments, it is important that all members share the values that add to security and safety.
Parents can help. Discuss with your children values such as the importance of each person’s life, respect for other’s property, compassion for the less fortunate, tolerance for people who are different, and obeying laws.
Emphasize courtesy, honesty, and cooperation in everyday life. Explain to children that money isn’t everything, and that helping others brings personal satisfaction in many ways.
Learn to disagree with words. If your child’s school offers parents an opportunity to take part in a conflict management program, sign up. You can learn techniques and approaches that will work well with your children and show you how to pass along those models at home. The most important skill is learning how to turn feelings of anger and frustration into positive action instead of violence.
When necessary, say no. It can reduce a child’s risk of experimenting with drugs or sexual activity, both of which can involve violence, by supporting school educational programs dealing with drug and alcohol abuse, and health and safety issues.
Intervene when necessary. It is difficult for parents to admit seeing signs of antisocial behavior in their own children and to seek professional guidance. But while most children develop appropriate social skills as they mature, others may begin showing antisocial patterns as early as the fourth grade. Some of these trouble signs would include excessive use of guilt-free intimidation and force to get their own way, frequent and skillful lying, and routine reliance on cheating or stealing.
Children who exhibit these behaviors may need some professional help to redirect their energies and anxieties. Parents are in the best position to sense when assistance is needed. Remember that early intervention can make a profound difference.
There are no secret ingredients to a healthy character or a good citizen. But parents can take some basic steps to give effective support to the school and community programs aimed at preventing violence from erupting at our schools.
© Santa Barbara County Education Office
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