Managing stress

Stress is the reaction of our minds and bodies to unsettling experiences. Too much stress can have negative consequences and can even make us ill. For this reason, the things that cause stress in children should be taken seriously before they are able to cause harm.

What are the signs of a distressed child? Anger, aggressiveness, anxiety, crankiness, bedwetting, crying too easily, overeating, increased clumsiness, hair twisting, teeth clenching, fighting with or withdrawing from other children, or failing at school are all on the list.

Causes of stress can lurk anywhere: Pressure from home or school; being too busy with over-loaded schedules; family changes such as divorce or remarriage; feeling unloved or misunderstood; or even worries about unsettling events elsewhere in the world.

It’s important to remember that children cannot analyze and control stress-causing events as well as adults can. They need guidance from adults.

Family support is a vital antidote to stress, so families must make sure to relax and talk together. Parents should curb their children’s access to violent TV shows and movies, and generally keep daily life calm. Pets are often a good buffer and an emotional refuge. Relaxed parents and teachers, who cope positively with their own stress, pass on these skills to children.

It also helps for families to maintain a network of friends and activities outside the home. The support and acceptance plays a very helpful role in diffusing stress.

Children cope better with stress in their lives when they don’t feel helpless, so parents should teach them how to care for themselves and take on family responsibilities as they grow. Parents can help children balance chores and play, and, very importantly, help them plan schedules that are tenable. Teaching young people about the importance of adequate rest and proper nutrition can help prevent stress from erupting in the first place.

Children should always be encouraged to ask for help when they need it, analyze their problems as they arise, and plan their alternatives for coping.

It’s been demonstrated that children who enjoy learning have good defenses against stress, so we hope all children will be encouraged to do their best in school. Of course too much academic pressure is a chief cause of childhood stress, so it’s important that parents avoid going overboard. As always, balance is the key.