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Peers play an especially major role in the lives of teens. Because
accidents involving alcohol are the number one killer of our youth
and because more than half of all fatal injuries to teen drivers occur
at night as a result of alcohol, teen parties can be particularly troublesome.
The PTA has created party guidelines that could prove helpful, especially
in terms of curbing alcohol or drug use.
When your own teen is having a party, it’s important that parents
visibly supervise the gathering. Parents are legally responsible for
what happens to minors in their home. Sometimes it helps to invite
another person or couple over to share the chaperoning. This provides
company for the adults and can be helpful if problems arise.
It is also important to take a strong stand and prohibit alcoholic
beverages or other drugs from being served. Penalties of jail terms,
fines, or both could result from serving drugs, including alcohol,
to minors. In addition, hosts could be subject to civil lawsuits for
anything that happens to a minor who has been served drugs or alcohol
at their home.
Call the parents of anyone who arrives with drugs or alcohol or appears
to be under the influence. If you cannot reach the parents, call a
taxi to take the teen home. Also, parents should agree in advance with
their teens that parties are by invitation only. A word-of-mouth invitation
can bring party-crashers. There should also be agreement in advance
that the sheriff may be called to help if a party gets out of hand.
Useful rules to agree on beforehand: No drugs or alcohol. No smoking.
No leaving the party and then returning. (Some teens hide alcohol in
the bushes outside a house and visit their “stash” during
the party.) No crashers allowed. Lights should be left on. Some rooms
in the house are off limits. Also, set a definite start and ending
time.
If your teen is going to a party elsewhere, make sure you know where
the party will be. Get the address and phone number of the host, and
let your teen know you expect a call if the location is changed. Call
the parents who will host the party to verify the occasion, make sure
a parent will be present, and be certain no alcohol or drugs will be
permitted.
Know how your teen will get to and from the party. Assure your teen
that you or a specific person can be called for a ride home. Discuss
the possible situations that could lead to such a call. Consider making
a “no questions asked” pact.
Agree in advance when your teen will return home. Strongly encourage
telephone communication when special circumstances arise. Be awake,
or have your teen awaken you, when he or she arrives home. Be prepared
to listen because this is often a good sharing time.
If your teen stays overnight with a friend after a party, check with
the parents to verify that they want your teen to stay, they will be
home, and you both agree on hours and other basic rules. Spontaneous
sleep-over arrangements should be confirmed with the host parents.
Maybe most important, take the time to assure your teens they are important
to you, and let them know they can call you to be picked up whenever
a situation arises where drugs are unexpectedly present or there is
no responsible adult and a situation is getting uncomfortable. Loving
parents need to be available to provide support as teens attempt to
exercise good judgment.
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