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The anniversary of Sept. 11 affected each of us in a deeply personal
way. This is especially true for young people, who process information
differently and react in varying ways over time.
Continuing media coverage of the anniversary, along with news about
the war and developments in Iraq, may spark anxiety and fear. It’s
a good time to revisit the ways that experts have recommended parents
can help their children through these times of potential anguish:
• Limit the amount of time children spend listening to or watching reports
about Sept. 11. They can become confused or frightened by the mere
overload.
• Reassure children that schools are safe places to be. The tragic events
of Sept. 11 and subsequent terror attacks worldwide were not targeted
specifically at schools or children.
• Watch for signs that your child is very shaken or even traumatized.
Changes in behavior, sleep patterns, or school performance could be
a signal.
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Encourage children to talk about what they have heard or seen. This
way you can clarify any misperceptions and help place the information
in perspective. Make sure during these conversations that you keep
your own strong emotions in check and speak calmly and reassuringly,
answering all the questions that you can. Ignoring the subject will
not make a child’s reactions go away. Encourage expression of
emotions through drawing, playing with toys, or acting out emotions
in some other way.
•
Share your own emotions, and any mixed feelings, in an honest and straight-forward
way. Sometimes there are no simple or clear solutions to problems.
It’s OK for your child to see you express these concerns. You
can help your child understand by naming the emotions: “I was
upset. I was frightened. I was angry.”
• Always remain in control of your emotions. Anxiety is contagious. Make
sure your children see that their world is still normal. Their routines
should stay as regular as possible.
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More than ever, it’s important that children get the necessary
amount of sleep, exercise, and nutrition.
• Remind children that the source of the hatred that caused these problems
was the tendency to lump all of one kind of people together. It was
wrong for the terrorists to do this and it would be wrong for your
children to do this. They should avoid stereotyping or being mean to
any one type of person.
• Spend time together, reading, playing games, doing chores. Tuck your
children in at night. Work hard to make them feel secure and loved.
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