This is one of the most interesting books I have read in recent years. I was not sure what to expect between the covers, but what I did find was more than I had hoped for.

The book is essentially about dyssemia, the nonverbal counterpart to dyslexia.

The clinical psychologist authors found in their years of research that social unacceptability on the whole is based on nonverbal behavior more than language processing deficiencies. This came as a surprise to me until I read the book.

Essentially, there are six main areas where troubles arise in social interactions.

1. Rhythm and the Use of Time - Being out of synch by talking or doing things too fast/too slow for the situation using generally accepted time spans. If Johnny takes 5 minutes to eat and everyone else takes 30, he’s out of synch.

2. Use of Space and Touch – The child (or adult) is either in your face or trying to interact from across the room. We know the former by the commonly used term “space invaders”, the later puts the person literally “out in left field.”

3. Gestures and Postures – Excessive slouching or combative posturing can drive people away, even if unintentional. When everyone else in on the edge of their seat, Susie is slouched back and almost sliding to the floor.

4. Facial Expression – When the expression doesn’t match the spoken words; it can be confusing, weird, and off-putting. Frowning when giving an upbeat message, for instance.

5. Paralanguage – The linguistics of timing, emphasis, and delivery. If it is outside the norm, like shouting when whispers are called for, social problems arise.

6. Style of Dress – If too far out of accepted fashion, it can be a social burden. We all know the poor boy who wore a suit to an event when everyone else wore jeans.

What’s most interesting is that more often than not, children (and some adults with a low social quotient) are often not doing this as a form of conscious rebellion, but are just unaware of their social miscues.

The book guides the reader through diagnosing and developing corrective behavior patterns, and for the more advanced cases, formal remediation methods. I highly recommend this book for anyone who suspects his or her child has a social deficit. It will surely help.

David L. Jones GATE parent

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